Yep - it's in there and other exciting stuff

Oh, what a week it's been. First, and most importantly, I am having a baby. I know, I've known it for a while. I peed on the stick and everything. But on Thursday, I actually saw our baby. All inch and a quarter of him or her. The ultrasound showed a head, 4 stubs for arms and legs, and a heart that was beating like crazy! 188 bpm, to be exact. The tech said it will slow down a little over the next couple of weeks. Who cares??? There's a baby in there!

On to the other exciting stuff - I am starting a new job in 3 weeks. Not anything that was planned. Actually, I was starting to think that I'd be stuck in Watervliet forever. But this wonderful job opportunity fell into my lap (2 days before finding out I was pregnant, to be exact) and now I will be making a leap to the big time! I am nervous, and excited, and happy, and scared, and whatever competing feelings are out there.

Now, if only I could breathe through my nose. That would be lovely. Second trimester is only 3 weeks away. Here's for hoping!

So tired. Must. Sleep. Now.

I never thought I could ever be this tired. I don't know how I am typing this right now. It's just past 8pm, and I feel like I haven't slept in days.

I think this is going to be a short entry. I hope this baby knows what I'm going through to make sure he or she comes out healthy and perky and beautiful. Good thing I already love this kid.

Hello, I'm Wendy, and I'm a worrier

Sad, but true fact. With the possibility of motherhood has come the intense feelings of worry. Have I screwed things up? Have I been eating too many bad things? Is everything down there going OK?

Had my first appointment today. I love my doctor. She has a way of putting things in perspective and making me feel at ease about everything. She heard me when I said that I wasn't sure if I was pregnant.

Why? she asked.
Because I don't really feel anything, I said.
Are your boobs sore?
Yes.
Are you tired?
Yes.
Have you had your period?
No.
Then it sounds like you're pregnant to me!

Yes, I guess that's why she gets paid the big bucks. However, I'm guessing she sensed that I wasn't completely believing her, so when she did my internal today, she said with great emphasis...

Oh yes, you are definitely pregnant!

However, she did not do an ultrasound. That's not until next week. So I wait. And I worry. Guess it wasn't the best time to watch Brothers & Sisters. Thankfully, Jill warned me that it was coming, but still - the seed is still sitting, quivering in the back of my head.

At least I will have four days of running after the munchkins to help me keep my mind off. Then I have to worry about resigning from my job so I can start my new one.

And, oh yeah. I'm pregnant!

What was I thinking?

I realized not too long ago that while I wasn't looking, I managed to put on the most weight ever. I am officially gross. Now, this comes long before baby decided to make an appearance. I am fat.

What was I thinking? I may just be one of those "overweight" pregnant women with a little * on her chart (* Watch out for Fatty - she may screw things up if she keeps feeding her face).

I have been good about eating - very good in fact. Little meals, lots of fruits and veggies, can't tell you when I last had dessert (OK, it was Sunday - but I thought I was going to hurl as soon as I put it in my mouth).

So, with whatever I do from now on, I have to once again worry - am I hurting Baby by being a big tub o' lard?

Am I always going to be this neurotic?

I thought the 2ww was bad...

I'm finding it really doesn't compare to the wait between seeing the 2 pink lines and having the doctor say, "Yep. You're pregnant."

As far as I can tell, it's so far, so good. No sign of af cramps or bleeding. Still have sore boobs. Ab muscles are not happy with me when I do a lot of running around at work.

I still worry. Just my nature, I guess. That's why this wait is killing me. I've read enough to know that there isn't too much to check on before 8 weeks, so going to the doctor so that I can pee on a stick there will be kind of pointless. I can do that at home, thank you. But there's just something about hearing it from an "expert" that will help ease the craziness.

Good thing I have a lot going on this week. Work will be crazy, as usual. Daniella's shower is Saturday, and I have lots to do to get ready for that. And there's always scrapbooking - a few hours with those ladies, and all you troubles go down the drain. Fabulous.

So on I trudge...let the wait continue.

Let the games begin!!!!

I am still in shock...It's only been five days since I peed on that stick and immediately saw 2 lines. Two little pink lines that have changed my and Jay's life forever.

Pregnant.

With child.

Knocked up.

Yahoo!!! I think. I'm happy - don't get me wrong. Ecstatic, even. Just seems so unreal. I am so worried. Everything I do affects the little life growing inside of me. Am I making the right choices? Eating the right food? Keeping my stress levels down?

OK. So I'm an eternal worrier. Sue me. I want what's best for my baby. I want him or her to be healthy and strong and intelligent and funny and full of joy for life.

So I will deal with the constant need to pee, the constant desire to sleep, the weird twinges in my abdomen. All for baby. Yeah.

So much to be thankful for

I know it's only Columbus Day, but it's also Canadian Thanksgiving, so that gives me a lovely opportunity to count all of the things I am thankful for this month!

1. Tomorrow, I will be married for 3 years to a wonderful man who really has managed to love me through my good and bitchy times.

2. I have an absolutely adorable dog who is currently snoring on the bed next to me. And a cat who has decided to snuggle today instead of plot new and interesting ways to escape.

3. Today is my day off, the weather is cruddy. Therefore, a perfect excuse to not do the yardwork I should be doing.

4. I have wonderful friends that act as my own personal cheerleaders. You're never truly sure of who your real friends are until you become an emotional mess.

5. I have the opportunity to host a baby shower in 3 weeks for a fantastic friend who will make an amazing mother.

6. On same said weekend, I will be immersed in family and children!

7. I just made reservations to visit my niece for her birthday. Yay for internet reservations!

8. I am now on day 33 with no AF in sight!