Ah yes, she showed. Right on time. Put me in a bit of a funk for the rest of the day. Took some of my frustration out on the gravel we're laying for the patio. Didn't help that as I was flipping through the channels yesterday afternoon, I was seeing women pregnant or giving birth all over the place.
Jay was so adorable. I think he was as disappointed as I was. He kissed my head and let me cry. Then he decided to take me out to dinner instead of staying in, as we'd originally planned.
Why is it bothering me so much this month? It's only the second time. Maybe because I thought we did things right this time. Maybe because I had this epiphany that motherhood could be possible for me; that the fears of being a bad mother finally faded away. That's probably it.
Now I really know that not only do I want a baby, but I can be a good mother as well.
Well, no reason to mope. Off to Toronto and Niagara Falls tomorrow. I was hoping this trip would be like the last one - hanging out in a foreign country, waiting to get home to tell my family the good news. Now, I will look at it as a fun trip with my adorable, loving husband.
Having AF along for the ride wasn't what I had in mind, but I know she won't be tagging along for too much longer.
Bright side - wine with dinner for me!!
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3 comments:
Sorry! I know how disappointing it can be but it will happen soon! Enjoy your trip.
Sorry it didn't happen this time, Wendy! As I've said before...DON'T STRESS about it! Have fun, RELAX, and just enjoy the 'process' (wink wink)!!! It will happen when you least expect it- just like finding Jay :)
I too am sorry it didn't happen this time, but I know that it will! I know from other friends that it can take some time - and that it definitely helps to at least try not to stress too much, as difficult as it can be. Like your other friend said, enjoy the process! :)
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