What was I thinking?

I realized not too long ago that while I wasn't looking, I managed to put on the most weight ever. I am officially gross. Now, this comes long before baby decided to make an appearance. I am fat.

What was I thinking? I may just be one of those "overweight" pregnant women with a little * on her chart (* Watch out for Fatty - she may screw things up if she keeps feeding her face).

I have been good about eating - very good in fact. Little meals, lots of fruits and veggies, can't tell you when I last had dessert (OK, it was Sunday - but I thought I was going to hurl as soon as I put it in my mouth).

So, with whatever I do from now on, I have to once again worry - am I hurting Baby by being a big tub o' lard?

Am I always going to be this neurotic?

I thought the 2ww was bad...

I'm finding it really doesn't compare to the wait between seeing the 2 pink lines and having the doctor say, "Yep. You're pregnant."

As far as I can tell, it's so far, so good. No sign of af cramps or bleeding. Still have sore boobs. Ab muscles are not happy with me when I do a lot of running around at work.

I still worry. Just my nature, I guess. That's why this wait is killing me. I've read enough to know that there isn't too much to check on before 8 weeks, so going to the doctor so that I can pee on a stick there will be kind of pointless. I can do that at home, thank you. But there's just something about hearing it from an "expert" that will help ease the craziness.

Good thing I have a lot going on this week. Work will be crazy, as usual. Daniella's shower is Saturday, and I have lots to do to get ready for that. And there's always scrapbooking - a few hours with those ladies, and all you troubles go down the drain. Fabulous.

So on I trudge...let the wait continue.

Let the games begin!!!!

I am still in shock...It's only been five days since I peed on that stick and immediately saw 2 lines. Two little pink lines that have changed my and Jay's life forever.

Pregnant.

With child.

Knocked up.

Yahoo!!! I think. I'm happy - don't get me wrong. Ecstatic, even. Just seems so unreal. I am so worried. Everything I do affects the little life growing inside of me. Am I making the right choices? Eating the right food? Keeping my stress levels down?

OK. So I'm an eternal worrier. Sue me. I want what's best for my baby. I want him or her to be healthy and strong and intelligent and funny and full of joy for life.

So I will deal with the constant need to pee, the constant desire to sleep, the weird twinges in my abdomen. All for baby. Yeah.

So much to be thankful for

I know it's only Columbus Day, but it's also Canadian Thanksgiving, so that gives me a lovely opportunity to count all of the things I am thankful for this month!

1. Tomorrow, I will be married for 3 years to a wonderful man who really has managed to love me through my good and bitchy times.

2. I have an absolutely adorable dog who is currently snoring on the bed next to me. And a cat who has decided to snuggle today instead of plot new and interesting ways to escape.

3. Today is my day off, the weather is cruddy. Therefore, a perfect excuse to not do the yardwork I should be doing.

4. I have wonderful friends that act as my own personal cheerleaders. You're never truly sure of who your real friends are until you become an emotional mess.

5. I have the opportunity to host a baby shower in 3 weeks for a fantastic friend who will make an amazing mother.

6. On same said weekend, I will be immersed in family and children!

7. I just made reservations to visit my niece for her birthday. Yay for internet reservations!

8. I am now on day 33 with no AF in sight!

Just when I thought I was back to normal...

Wham! An entire day in bed. Normally, I would be happy as a clam to be a complete bum. How much longer will I get to enjoy this? But today, I felt like complete crap. I don't think it's related to my scrapbooking weekend. Actually, I felt better this weekend than I have in a long time. Maybe it's PMS. A really weird, completely out of the ordinary bout of PMS. Not that I mind. I actually feel OK about the prospect of not being pg this month. I was so sick last week when I o'd and I've been on so much medication since that I'd feel really scared I did something to the baby. Granted all the meds I was on are supposed to be OK, but I still can't help but worry. So come on AF - I'm waiting for you!